So this is my second trip to "Spirits of Mt. Vernon" today, as my first visit ended with an old man sitting in the window telling me to come back in 10 minutes.
"You're there, can't you help me?"
"No, ten minutes, ten minutes"
(Where'd they go, to get your heart pills?)
Seriously, if your hours state you're open from 11-9 p.m. then, WHY are you NOT OPEN?!? Are you too cheap to spring for a "closed be back in hour" sign? Shit, how about writing it on one of the many wine-ruining windows you've got all over your store? Yours truly, in a different city, being within walking distance to a "Fine Wine Store", and not having it open is tantamount to cruel and unusual punishment as far as I'm concerned.... It's just mean!
Every time I go in this sunshine-shithole of a store, I'm (barely) greeted by an older woman with bad manners and the personality of a pregnant, rabid, echidna. The selection is terrible, the wine is stored improperly. Here's a hint: if the sun has FADED your "Come In, We're Open" sign, imagine what it's doing to the WINE you have SITTING in the windows! IN DIRECT SUN.
I'm not a difficult customer, and trust me, if I have a question, I'll ask. Directly. Subtlety is not a strong point of mine.. So when I tell you for the THIRD time that I don't need any help or have any questions, that usually means I DON'T NEED ANY HELP. I'm sorry to bother you, as I know you were ever so busy sitting there with your piss drinking mother of a circus whore associate, discussing how terrible it is that you can't get out of jury duty for a second time. I just really wanted some Cava. And when I told you I wanted Cava, not something imported by Freixenet, and you sent me to the mini bottles of Freixenet, I knew ours was a relationship doomed.
Btw, next time, when you're giving the "hard sale" speech and recruiting your shriveled up coworker,going on about how much depth this one has as compared to the Cristalino, make sure you c-l-e-a-r-l-y say the name of whatever it is the customer is purchasing, as I bought a CAVA, not a comma..... Although maybe that's a business venture better suited to your temperament. And it would give you all the time in the world to gossip to your little group of twittering hags you had hanging out on the "tasting bar".
What's even funnier, is the people over at that Korean Market, who didn't know Cava from Crappola, were so awesome, I don't think I'll ever go anywhere else in Baltimore. The EXACT opposite from Spirits of Mt. Vernon; friendly, helpful, and has about just as a much of a selection, without the snooty exclusiveness...
I'm done ranting for the day... I hope....
No comments:
Post a Comment